The evening shadows were drawing in as I set off from my hotel in Dingle Co-Kerry on the twenty-five-mile drive to the village of Polaphuca. I thought I knew every town and village in Ireland as I had travelled the length and breadth of the island since I was a teenager, almost thirty long years as a rock-n-roll musician, but I had never been to Polaphuca, in fact I had never heard of the place until I received the message the night before.
And a weird sort of message it was too…an invitation, unlike any I had ever seen before, a note written in red ink on a black card. I don’t remember it being delivered to my room but it was there on my pillow when I awoke…how it got there I do not know, but I was somewhat out of it last night so anyone could have sneaked in and placed it on my pillow as I slept.
‘You are invited to the Polaphuca Monster Gig on June 21st be there at midnight. Bring your guitar. Come alone.’
A hand-drawn sketch gave some basic directions to the venue. And the date ‘June 21st…that’s today’s date.’ I wondered why I hadn’t heard anything about The Gig from my friends in the music game.
As I sped through the darkness towards the mountain region to Polaphuca, which according to the sketch was located somewhere amongst the rolling Magillicuddy Reeks that formed the border between Co- Cork and Kerry. I saw the weird glow in the sky and I heard the sound of the celebrations long before I could see where they were coming from. ‘They ‘re really having a ball up there.’ I thought as the sound from powerful amplifiers blasted out an ear-shattering awful noise, a strange medley of weird music and above that din the sound of a thousand human throats in torment or ecstasy. Whatever celebrations were being enacted up ahead I had never heard anything like it before.
I parked my ageing Ford Cortina on a side road, surprised that I was able to actually find a parking spot so close to the big party and I approached the commotion on foot through the massive oak trees that seemed to rear up into the heavens. As I got closer I was able to make some sense out that awful din and my musical ear determined that a large number of pop bands were there and they were all playing at the same time. Playing might be an exaggeration; they must be trying to outdo each other for the sheer volume of noise they were each band was generating. I imagined there might be a competition for big prize money underway.
I recognised most of the sounds as I drew closer and I thought there is no way all of the famous and best-known groups were together at the one venue…most likely it was some crazy DJ trying to impress the simple country youngsters. There in a natural amphitheatre set in the middle of the tree-shrouded hills, I saw the huge log fire with its flames leaping twenty feet or more into the night sky and around that inferno thousands of nude young people were cavorting around on the grass in an orgy of sexual depravity.
On a massive stage under a craggy outcrop in a sheltered area adjacent to the heaving mass of humanity the biggest rock concert I had ever seen or heard was in full swing. All the big names were there, the famous faces from across the world doing what they do best but this time they were exceeding all the limits with the never-ending recital of their hits… non-stop they blasted out the songs that had made them famous and very rich. No sooner had one number finished but another started.
I don’t know how long I lay there hidden amongst the trees because I was totally enthralled by what I was witnessing, maybe but for a few minutes or more likely it was much longer than that. I looked at my watch and saw it was approaching the hour of midnight and I was drawn from my vantage point down to that terrible musical fiasco, with my invitation in hand and my guitar over my shoulder I joined that reckless mob of humanity.
The noise was deafening and my eardrums ached and threatened to burst. The heat from that enormous fire was overpowering and soon I too was compelled to start shedding my clothing as the other members of that depraved assembly had already done. I stood there in a state of shock and confusion awaiting instructions or a greeting from whoever was running the show. And then I saw him as he cleared a path through the path of nude bodies… a very tall fellow wearing a skin-tight red bodysuit. He was the only one there in fancy dress in fact he was the only one wearing clothing of any type. I had no idea who he was but I felt sure I had met him somewhere sometime in the distant past. He called out in a booming voice that echoed above the awful din.
‘Welcome! I’m so glad you could make it…did you come alone?’
‘Yes! I came alone, as instructed.’ I stammered in my confusion.
‘Stoke up the fire,’ he roared. ‘Our special guest has arrived.’
The flames shot high into the sky as another batch of humanity were tossed into the flames, the screams of the victims drowned out by the drone of the unending cacophony.
‘Come! You must play for us.’ He was pushing me towards the nearby stage. ‘ You have done well for yourself over the years but you wouldn’t have without my help… now it’s time to play for your benefactor. It’s payback time.’
‘Don’t you remember our deal?’ He shouted and he grabbed my arm in a vice-like grip.
As he kicked more of the heaving mass of nude bodies out of the way I saw his cloven hooves and I knew then he wasn’t in fancy dress. I knew who he was. I had met him a long time ago when I was struggling to make a living on the Rock circuit. There were a great many rock concerts since then but I did remember the night when I had signed in blood.
I smashed my guitar into his sneering ugly face and I managed to break free from his grip. I ran from that terrible place as fast as my legs would carry me and I escaped with only the scratches from the oak tree branches that lashed my naked body as I raced through the undergrowth back to my car. Thankfully I had left the keys under the driver’s seat and I was soon heading back to safety and sanity… I saw the bridge just a short distance ahead and I knew I would be safe once I had crossed over running water.
I never played the rock scene after that night… that was one bad trip one I wouldn’t want repeated. Sex, Drugs & Rock ‘n’ Roll… never again.